A well-made, well-written drama can be one of the most powerful movies out there. Indeed, some of what are recognized as the greatest movies ever made are dramas. However, a drama’s power rests, first and foremost, on the foundation of its script. When written well, a drama can pack quite a punch. When poorly written,it can end up being unintentionally laughable—or worse, painfully boring.
There are many things that can make a drama movie bad, from incompetent directing to lackluster performances, but there’s no more of a surefire way of ensuring your drama’s going to be terrible than a poor screenplay. From flops destroyed by critics and forgotten by time, likeThe Scarlet Letter, to so-bad-it’s-good cult classics, likeGlen or Glenda, the most poorly written dramas prove the importance of a good script, and the devastating effect of a bad one.
Directed by Larry Bishop
One ofthe dramas most strongly hatedby famed American criticRoger Ebert,Mad Dog Timeis a farcical gangster drama also known asTrigger Happy. It’s about a mobster who becomes the temporary leader of his boss’s criminal empire while he’s in the madhouse, while vicious rivals threaten to take him down and take over.
The star-studded cast? Completely wasted. The farcical elements? Entirely unfunny and insipid.The script? Bad beyond any kind of redemption. The plot is paper-thin, composed entirely of an hour and a half of men facing problems and killing other men to solve said problems.Mad Dog Timeis a complete waste of time, and it mainly stems from its shockingly shallow script.
Mad Dog Time
9’The Scarlet Letter' (1995)
Directed by Roland Joffé
Based on the seminal historical fiction byNathaniel Hawthornefrom 1850,Roland Joffé’sThe Scarlet Letteris a lot less legendary. It’s about the affair between a young woman and a pastor, and the disastrous consequences that it sparks.Those in love with the source material shouldn’t bother with this adaptation, though; it strays so far from the original that it’s nearly unrecognizable.
The credits of the movie even have the audacity to read “freely adapted from the novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne,” but being a terrible adaptation is the least ofThe Scarlet Letter’s sins. Despite a committed performance byGary Oldman, it’s still one ofthe worst drama movies of all time, with a bunch of unintentional camp, a series of nonsensical moments in quick concatenation, and nothing to add to the material.
The Scarlet Letter (1995)
8’Staying Alive' (1983)
Directed by Sylvester Stallone
WhileSaturday Night Feveris one of the most beloved dramas of the ’70s,Staying Aliveis one of the most forgotten sequels of the ’80s, and understandably so. Directed bySylvester Stallone(who also has a pretty pointless cameo), it’s set five years after the events of the first movie, and Tony Manero is now strutting toward his biggest challenge yet: succeeding as a Broadway dancer.
Anothermovie that Ebert absolutely decimated,Staying Alivehas none of the profound drama, complex character writing, or charming dance sequences that made the original such a classic. The technical qualities are particularly terrible, but the script doesn’t fall too far behind. The film feels like a bad MTV video stretched into over 90 minutes of runtime, with a script that feels completely soulless and as shallow as a paddling pool.
Staying Alive
7’I’m Not Ashamed' (2016)
Directed by Brian Baugh
When done right, faith-based movies can be universally relatable and absolutely outstanding. Sometimes, though, they can turn out as badly asI’m Not Ashamed. It’s the true story ofRachel Joy Scott, the first student who was killed in the Columbine High School shooting in 1999. It may mostly be a true story, but the way it’s told is so glaringly driven by an agenda that it feels exploitative.
All in all,I’m Not Ashamedfeels like just another Christian movie of the bunch; on the surface,nothing about it seems remarkable, neither positively nor negatively. But a deeper look into its emotionally manipulative script reveals purely cynical exploitation. Well-meaning exploitation, certainly, but its good intentions are just lipstick on a pig. In the end of the day, the film’s screenplay makes it one ofthe worst dramas of the 2010s.
I’m Not Ashamed
6’United Passions' (2014)
Directed by Frédéric Auburtin
For many, many years, FIFA has proven time and time again to be a deeply corrupt organization—But one wouldn’t guess that from watchingUnited Passions. One ofthe worst period moviesof recent years, it follows the passing of the FIFA baton through three association presidents:Jules Rimet,João Havelange, andSepp Blatter.
To the surprise of absolutely no one who watches it, 90% ofUnited Passionswas funded by FIFA,essentially giving them full control over the film’s script and production. As such, the organization and its higher-ups are painted as heroic paragons of virtue and love for the sport. It’s disgustingly self-aggrandizing stuff, making the experience of watching the movie feel like walking in on a grown man kissing his own reflection in the mirror.
United Passions
Directed by Harold Cronk
Yet another infamously terrible Christian movie—though mostly for different reasons toI’m Not Ashamed—,God’s Not Deadis usually what many people think of when they think of bad faith-based films. It’s about Josh, a new student in the class of college philosophy professor Mr. Radisson, whose curriculum rests on the belief that God is dead. Josh, however, believes otherwise, and isn’t afraid to challenge Mr. Radisson.
God’s Not Deadis remarkably one-sided and idiotic in its writing.
The writers behindGod’s Not Deaddon’t seem to understand a thing about college, philosophy, or atheism, and their script suffers as a result. Aside from Mr. Radisson being one ofthe most ridiculous movie villains in history,God’s Not Deadis remarkably one-sided and idiotic in its writing. The side characters are plot devices that are used and discarded as the writers require, the themes are conveyed laughably poorly, and what the movie thinks is a brilliant and irrefutable demonstration of God’s existence instead comes across as a sad American Evangelical power fantasy.
God’s Not Dead
4The ‘365 Days’ Trilogy
Directed by Barbara Białowąs and Tomasz Mandes
Netflix has earned the title of “the streaming giant” not just through being a pioneer of the medium, but also through the production of some of the best shows and movies that have ever come out of it. However, they have also made some pretty atrocious stuff, chief among which is the pathetic Polish erotic thriller trilogy365 Days, about a Sicilian Mafia member who kidnaps a woman and gives her 365 days (cue theLeonardo DiCapriopointing meme) to fall in love with him.
Each installment in the trilogy is amongthe worst-written romance movies of all time. Disgustingly tasteless, astonishingly misogynistic, and abounding in horniness what it lacks in quality (so, everything), the writing for the365 Daystrilogy issome of the most embarrassing stuff that’s ever happened to the erotic drama genre. None of these films are even the fun kind of bad movie, either, so they’re a completely pointless waste of time that no self-respecting human should subject themselves to.
3’Double Down' (2005)
Directed by Neil Breen
No list of the worstanythingof cinema would be complete without at least a passing mention ofNeil Breen, who’s perhaps the modern king of bad cinema. His very worst, though, is usually agreed to be the awfulDouble Down. It’s an action thriller drama about a lone genius who closes down the Las Vegas Strip during a terrorist attack as he fights with fits of depression and obsessions with love and death.
While Breen’s most iconic movies areessential so-bad-it’s-good cinema,Double Downis the kind of film that everyone but his most loyal fans might be better off skipping. Nothing about the screenplay makes any kind of sense whatsoever. Plot points come and go for no apparent reason, the dialogue feels like it was written by someone who hasn’t slept in a week, andthe protagonist is so clearly a self-insert Mary Sue archetype of Breen that it’s easier to see the film as a comedythan as a drama.
Double Down
Double Downis currently not available to stream, rent, or purchase in the U.S.
2’Glen or Glenda' (1953)
Directed by Edward D. Wood Jr.
It wasEdward D. Wood Jr., better known as Ed Wood (which is also the title of the biopic thatTim Burtondirected about him), that walked so that directors like Neil Breen could run. Perhaps his most bizarre film is the off-puttingGlen or Glenda, about a mysterious psychiatrist played byBela Lugositelling the stories of a transvestite and a pseudohermaphrodite.
This is the kind ofmovie so bad that it must be seen to be believed, a spectacle of awfulness so incompetently made and written thatone could almost get away with calling it a surrealist masterpiece. There’s a lot of interesting analysis to draw from the film and how it reflects Wood’s own gender nonconformity and love for cross-dressing, but that all comes from the directing. On paper, everything aboutGlen or Glendais borderline incomprehensible. The story, the dialogue, the characters, and the themes are all a testament to just how poorly a human being can write a story.
Watch on Amazon Prime
1’The Room' (2003)
Directed by Tommy Wiseau
Lauded and celebrated by many as the greatest bad film ever made,The Roomhas been a sensation of the cult circuit for about a couple of decades, and it’s not hard to see why. This timeless celebration of atrocious filmmaking is the story of Johnny, a successful banker from San Francisco whose seemingly perfect life is turned upside down when his best friend starts having an affair with his bride-to-be, the deceitful Lisa.
The Roomisawful from start to finish, without giving the audience so much as a minuscule break from its badness. As far as the writing goes, it feels like the mysteriousTommy Wiseau, who financed, wrote, directed, and starred in the movie, had never had a conversation with a human being before.The way the characters inThe Roomtalk and behave is nothing short of unearthly, but that is precisely where the film’s charm comes from. It may be the worst-written drama ever made, butThe Roomis a hilariously bad movie that every cinephile should watch at least once in their lives.
The Roomis currently not available to stream, rent, or purchase in the U.S.
