It’s a question to consider while you check out the following teasers that ended up far superior than the movies they were teasing…
Cloverfield
While it’s not a terrible film on its own, the firstCloverfieldmovie launched a world of mystery box garbage that ultimately led nowhere. The film itself, which includes many memorable and compelling moments, has no meaning or thoughtful conclusion. It’s a dark ride that skids you outside the carnival gates, right next to a “no refunds” sign.
The trailer is fantastic but bittersweet, because it’s exactly what spawned the success of the Abrams “mystery box” style. It makes you want nothing more than to see this film, even though you have no clue what the film may be. But frankly that’s a relief compared to the oversharing style that some modern trailers have adapted.
Superman Returns
The oft-forgotBrandon Routhversion of Superman is technically a good film – in that it’s a slightly-worse copy ofRichard Donner’s work. Quality-aside, there are a plethora of reasons to not talk or think about this movie – from the problematic cast and crew to the fact that the villain’s big evil plan is land ownership.
In terms of teaser trailers, however, you’re able to’t deny that this movie got you freaking pumped – solely on the meaty foundation that isMarlon Brando’s narration. It wasn’t a lie either; thanks to unused footage and a little CGI Brando is 100% in this movie. And while that was really cool at the time, little did we know thehaunting precedentit would set.
Some might argue that Alien 3 isn’t a bad movie. After all, it’s a (very frustrated)David Fincherfilm. On the other hand, it did kill many important characters off-screen and therefore completely negated the efforts of the previous film. On the other-other hand, it also give us thishilarious test footageof a confused dog dressed like an alien.
The original trailer painted a much different picture – as the early idea was to take the franchise to Earth. This makes the teaser both exciting and a cruel lie, but also probably better than what we got. With the exception of a few terribleAlien vs Predatorfilms, it’s downright shocking they’ve never tried this premise ever again.
Femme Fatale
ThisBrian De Palmamovie isn’t bad so much as it’s highly forgettable while somehow being over-the-top ridiculous at the same time. Its trailer, however, is aggressively original in its TMI approach to marketing. After all, it shows you the entire movie – albeit an extremely sped-up version.
Sadly, that’s probably all you need to see. And quite frankly every boring thriller should at least have a “double speed” option where patrons can pay half-price to see a fast-forwarded version in theaters while still getting to feel like an adult for sitting through it.
Be Kind Rewind
Considering the massive talent behind it, it’s surprising how littleBe Kind Rewindis discussed by even the snobbiest of filmgoers. The movie just kind of passed everyone by – its gimmick of “sweded” reshoots far exceeding the movie’s narrative in terms of staying power. Honestly, how many of us can remember the actual plot of this film?
So naturally, part of the promotion was to “swede” the trailer itself in an ultra-meta way that onlyMichel Gondrycan achieve. Truly this was a wonderful moment in movie history where this art-maniac was given free rein over a major project – something that would last exactly until the release ofThe Green Hornet.
The Minus Man
Statistically-speaking, you probably didn’t seeThe Minus Man– a movie that certainly isn’t bad. This isn’t about the quality of that motion picture, so much as the amazing creativity that went into its marketing. Specifically, a trailer completely made up of original footage that showcases two people talkingaboutthe movie being advertised.
But then, in a wonderfully dark twist, it gets revealed that one of the two characters is late to her job… as a pool lifeguard. It’s essentially a two-minute short film in itself, complete with a satisfying ending. Maybe it’s not better than the film it’s advertising, but it’s definitely better than a lot of films out there.
Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines
Released over a decade after the first two,Terminator 3was but one of many flaming dumpsters that would embody the remainder of this ongoing slog of a franchise. This film – while not terrible – broke the seal, allowing a world of darkness to cascade forth like the White Walkers through the ice wall.
But hey, the teaser kind of rocks. It doesn’t even say the name, as the music and gooey metallic logo was all we needed to be 100% pumped for this future disaster. It’s the equivalent of disguising a slaughterhouse like a giant delicious hay bale. But instead of murdering the cows, the factory just made them wish they were dead.
Man of Steel
There was a brief moment in time where Superman fans could perhaps imagine that the upcomingMan Of Steelwasn’t going to be two hours of the before footage to a Prozac commercial. This first trailer was the peak of hope, soon to be dashed with wailing screams over a freshly-snapped Zod.
Imagine a version that is both Dark Knight serious while maintaining the values of the titular character. Imagine had this movie correctly set the tone for the franchise to follow, instead of kicking off one of the most depressing cinematic universes ever attempted. Alas such a film exists only in this brief trailer, never to be heard from again.
The Day After Tomorrow
Who says you can’t warn society about the perils of climate change while also being a lumbering trash-giant of a film?The Day After Tomorrowis a beautiful time capsule of an era where we were maybe, kinda, thinking about fixing the environment and also givingJake Gyllenhaala career. And we really only got around tooneof those things.
The initial trailer, however, was red hot.Roland Emmerich, while having a few recent whiffers to his name, was still trusted enough to destroy a city. And boy did this effectively-creepy teaser promise the type of destruction we had grown to crave. What we never could have predicted was the seemingly-hours of snow hiking.
The full story ofRed Eyeis one of many twists that ultimately lead the audience right back to where they start. The trailer tricks you into thinking you’re witnessing a mediocre love story, only to delightfully reveal what appears to be a supernaturalWes Cravenhorror taking place on an airplane. What fun!
But then the movie came out, revealing yet another twist that this movie you thought was a mediocre love story and then thought was a supernatural horror is actually just a mediocre thriller. To say the least, it was disappointing to come nearly full-circle – leading audience members to promptly forget this movie ever existed.
