Welcome to a very special edition ofThe MandalorianGuide, featuring the first episode of this eight-chapter season that I straight up did not enjoy. Folks, I do enough recreational drugs to know how fun it is to smashStar Warstoys together. I’ve made Bib Fortuna and Bossk kiss. I’m aware of how this works. But paper-thin “The Gunslinger” didn’t do much of anything besides take a walking tour through the Stuff You Recognize Museum. “Look, some Tusken Raiders!” this episode yells, forgetting to factor the Tusken Raiders into the plot in any meaningful way.Ludwig Göransson’s score still slaps something fierce, the Western-influenced cinematography is still mighty nice to look at, and I’m never going to say no to seeingMing-Na WenorAmy Sedarisin any scenario. But if the episodes of the first-ever live-actionStar Warsseries are going to be bite-sized, at least include something to chew on, ya now?
Here’s the gist of “The Gunslinger”: The Mandalorian makes an emergency pit stop on Tattooine, that all-too-familiar desert planet that Luke Skywalker called home. There, our main Mando has to seek out another bounty to pay Peli Motto (Sedaris) for repairs. This search leads him to Toro Calican (Jake Cannavale), an aspiring bounty hunter who wants to take on a dangerous mission, not for the money but to earn enough clout to get into the bounty hunter’s guild, a position where it kind’ve seems the only benefit would be the money. Toro Calican’s a strange character. He gets shot in the dang head by episode’s end, so, ¯_(ツ)_/¯. Much more intriguing is their target, Fennec Shand (Wen), a deadly assassin on the run after all her skeezy employers got taken down in the fall of the Empire. Fennec…alsogets shot to death after Toro betrays the Mandalorian, but a highly intriguing pair of boots suggest that we haven’t seen the last of this rifle-toting badass.
(Note: Baby Yoda, who played almost zero part in these proceedings, is still an icon and I would gladly boot a family member into the Mustafar lava pits to ensure his well-being.)
I’ve still got a few questions. You’ve probably got a few questions. Let’s get on into it…
How Is Tatooine Doing?
If you’re the kind of person who is intoThe Mandalorian, you probably don’t need a refresher on Tatooine, so we’ll keep this brief. This beige-as-hell planet is where a lil slave named Anakin Skywalker was born, raised, finished exactly one (1) pod race, and eventually returned to slaughter a whole tribe of Tusken Raiders. Shortly afterward, his mentor chopped his legs off and he became the galaxy’s most deadly CPAP machine, Darth Vader.
Tatooine isalsowhere a fresh-faced kid named Luke Skywalker was raised by his uncle, spending time blasting wamp rats and picking up power converters at Tosche Station, until one fateful day he was tragically not allowed to pick up power converters at Tosche Station. This path eventually led him to become the first Jedi Knight in centuries and overthrow the Galactic Empire. Lotta' strong Midochlorians flying around Tatooine. It’s kind of like how Sweden just keeps popping out Skarsgårds.
The Mandalorianintroduces, dare I say, a much moreprogressiveTatooine. The planet’s scruffiest outpost, Mos Eisley, was famously described as a “wretched hive of scum and villainy”. Things are still a bit sketch—putting Stormtrooper helmets (heads??) on pikes isn’t exactly how you foster tourism—but look at the Mos Eisley Cantina, staffing droids behind the bar whenA New Hopefirmly established Luke’s robot companions weren’t even welcome inside. Plus, look at the clientele. Sitting at the very same table where Han Solo killed Greedo is Toro Calican, one of the least dangerous people we’ve ever met in theStar Warsuniverse, maybe behind only like, Lumpawaroo.
Toro gives off heavy “my father will hear about this” vibes. He’s anaspiringscoundrel. He’s the “Maclunkey” of human beings. This new Mos Eisley is basically gentrified Brooklyn, where the bar that used to be “dangerous” is filled with trust fund kids bothering you for coke. I bet Toro lives in a Jawa Sandcrawler that someone converted into luxury loft space.
Is Fennec Shand Really Dead?
I mean, I hope not? Played with quiet intensity by Minga-Na Wen, Fennec has a backstory fit for her own Disney+ series. She was an assassin for the crime empire known as the Five Syndicates—that’s the Hutts, Crimson Dawn, Black Sun, the Pyke Syndicate, and the Crymorah Syndicate—which means she’s probably had run-ins with the likes of Jabba and Darth Maul sporting his fancy new robot legs. A lot ofThe Mandalorian’s high-profile guest stars have been little more than cameos—remember how muchGina Caranowas featured in the marketing?—but Fennec’s role seemed especially slight. Ya girl was built up as so dangerous the Bounty Hunters Guild was scared to touch her, and then she gets straight-up bamboozled by one guy, his fumbling sidekick, and like four flash bombs. There’s not atonof evidence to suggest that the last we see of Fennec Shand isn’t her getting blastered in the chest by an absolute doofus, but common sense alone would indicate you don’t bring in Ming-Na Wen to play a total ass-kicker for roughly six minutes of screentime. That’d be like hiring the fight team fromThe Raidbut then not even having them take part in a fight scene.
Who Is This Mysterious Figure in the Cape?
First of all, the fact that this person is wearing a cape does not narrow down the optionsat. all. Capes are a more constant presence in theStar Warsuniverse than droids. You’re notshitinStar Warsunless your cape billows with intensity and grace even when you’re standing still. Anakin Skywalker lost most of his limbs and Palpatine had to reconstruct his body with machinery and wiring but then at the end was like “…and also add a bigflashycape.”
But! There are certainly options that are more likely than others. (For now, let’s rule out the possibility it’s just another bounty hunter, because you don’t give the big cut-to-creditsdun-dun-dunmoment to some rando looking for Baby Yoda.) I personally think we’re looking at Moff Gideon, the mystery man played byGiancarlo Espositothat hasn’t been introduced yet. Gideon was a governor in the Empire before that whole operation got blown to heck, and now he’s struggling to find his place in a post-Empire galaxy. But that Imperial history would suggest he runs in the same orbit asWerner Herzog’s Client, which could put him hot on the trail of The Mandalorian and The Child. We’ve only seen the character in trailers, but what is he clearly rockingbesidesthe type of mustache that gets you banned from school areas? One snazzy-looking cape.
There’s also the Jabba-sized elephant in the room, which is the theory floating around that this shadowy figure is none other than Boba Fett. Your boy Boba did, historically, love capes. He also would likely still be on Tatooine, because leaving the planet would run the risk of someone recognizing him as the giant idiot who got bonked on the jetpack and flew directly into a Sarlacc Pit. If Boba is living off the Bounty Hunters Guild grid but still taking on odd-jobs, he probablywouldhave a tracking fob leading him to Fennec’s body.
While I feel like bringing in the most instantly recognizable Mandalorian-armor-wearing character in Star Wars history would take some of the shine off this show’s main character, it does fall in line with whatJon FavreauandDave Filoniseem to be intent on doing withThe Mandalorian. This is a Star Wars show for people who especially love the deep cuts, and it often gives underappreciated bits of the puzzle their due. In this show, AT-STs aren’t jangly-ass walking disasters with zero tactical advantages, they are horrifying beasts lurking in the woods. In this show, that weird thingisn’t an ice cream maker, it’s a dope transport unit. Giving Boba Fett—probably the coolest character with the most hilariously abrupt death in film history—a proper send-off is right in line with the series' modus operandi.
Anyway, here are three other options, ranked from most to least likely:
No matter what, my favorite thing about this person is that they appear to be wearing spurs. The only practical purpose of spurs is for riding a horse. This isStar Wars, my dude. This person is just wearing spurs because they like the jingle-jangle noise. That’s like having 20/20 vision but still wearing athletic goggles to play basketball.
