Content Warning: The following contains discussions about sexual assault.
After watching Netflix’s surprise hit miniseriesBaby Reindeer, viewers are getting pretty up in arms about getting justice for its creator,Richard Gadd. It is somewhat understandable. After all, the seven episodes ofBaby Reindeertell anautobiographical storyabout a struggling comedianwhose life is ruined by not just a stalker, but also a sexually abusive mentor. It is only natural to feel for Gadd and his alter-ego, Donny Dunn, and to want to see the people who made him suffer pay. However,Gadd has done everything in his power to disguise the identity of his real stalker and abuser, focusing on telling a story about how this horrifying situation fed his inner demons instead of doing justice with his own hands.
Sadly, fans have not taken the note from Gadd to heart, andmany have started pointing fingers at random people, accusing them of being the real-life counterparts of Donny’s stalker, Martha (Jessica Gunning), and Darrien (Tom Goodman-Hill), his rapist. Gadd himself has made it clear thatthis is not at all what he wanted with his show. The focus of the show is primarily on Martha as his the stalker. However,the real takeaway from Donny Dunn’s story has nothing to do with stalking or how to avoid it. In reality, the show is all about a kind of vulnerability that may be present in all of us and points to a much larger issue that, it seems, some fans are willing to ignore.
Baby Reindeer
In a dark and gripping narrative, a young man’s life spirals into chaos when an innocent encounter at his bar job leads to an obsessive stalking by an older woman. The film skillfully explores themes of privacy, obsession, and the boundaries of social interaction.
What Is ‘Baby Reindeer’ About?
Now, granted, on the surface,Baby Reindeeris all about the stalking.The story kicks off with Donny meeting Martha at the London pub where he works and becoming an object of her affection after giving her a cup of tea on the house.From then on, his life becomes a living hell. Upon getting his e-mail on his website, Martha sends him numerous messages, ranging from charming to concerning. She pops up at his comedy gigs, threatens the women that he goes out with, and waits at a bus stop for him to come out of his home… The list goes on. It is progressively daunting to watch, and, for a while, we believe this terrifying behavior to be the only dent in Donny’s otherwise carefree life. Well, that and the fact that his comedy career isn’t doing so well.
However, things change whenDonny’s girlfriend, Teri (Nava Mau), convinces him to press chargesagainst Martha after six months of harassment. Asked at the police station why he has taken so long to file a complaint, Donny is taken back to a previous moment in his life, a moment in which he believed his bright future was laid out in front of him. When he was just starting as a comedian in Scotland,Donny met a man named Darrien who took an interest in his act. Much more successful than Donny, with a job on a prestigious TV show, Darrien took to helping him with gigs and even promised him a job as a writer on his next project.
All of that, however, came at a price. Invited over to Darrien’s house, Donny was encouraged to take a large amount of drugs andsubsequently raped while he was unconscious. This assault repeatedly occurred, and for a long time,Donny was sexually abused by a man that he once trustedand even looked up to. Donny often woke up from their benders, after being pressured to take drugs he didn’t even know the names of,not knowing what truly happened to himwhile he was slipping in and out of consciousness. However, for a myriad of reasons that go from guilt to shame, Donny never pressed charges against his assailant.
‘Baby Reindeer’ and ‘Rebel Moon’ Continue Their Reign Atop the Netflix Top 10 Charts
Richard Gadd’s dark autobiographical thriller has been a breakout hit, adding another 22 million views.
Martha’s Stalking Is Not the Source of Donny’s Problems in ‘Baby Reindeer’
Darrien’s assault left a mark on Donny. Feeling like less of a man and questioning his sexuality — and feeling guilty and ashamed for this confusion —he spiraled into a depression that accompanied him for years. He tried to hide it, but the assault affected how he perceived sex and affected his ability to have sex. This eventually led to the end of his relationship with Keeley (Shalom Brune-Franklin), his girlfriend from back home, and opened the doors for Martha to walk into his life.
Now, Gadd has made it pretty clearin interviewsthat he doesn’t view himself as solely a victim in his situation with the real Martha. He’s aware that he handled it all very poorly from the start and even encouraged Martha’s interest in him. This has made its way intoBaby Reindeer, in whichDonny is shown to revel in the compliments Martha pays himand even makes sexually suggestive comments to her. All of this, Donny explains to us in the narration, stems from his own insecurities, born out of the violence that he experienced at the hands of his former mentor. He sees himself as less of a man, so he can’t help but enjoy it when Martha points out that he has a strong jawline.
He hides his trauma from the world, so he can’t help but feel seen when Martha immediately points out that he looks like someone who has been hurt before. So, yes, Martha is indeed a problem in Donny’s life, butshe’s far from being the source of his woes. Her presence in his life was, instead, a direct consequence of the thing that traumatized him most. If Donny had never been assaulted, if he had never felt so vulnerable and frail, perhaps Martha never would have embedded herself into his life.
At the end of the series, after an impromptu one-man show in which he comes out about his assault and the stalking that he was subjected to, Donny goes looking for Darrien once again to ask him for a job. Darrien compliments his bravery for telling the world what happened to him, but he never owns up to anything. After the meeting, Donny immediately has an anxiety attack.This scene stands in direct contrast with the final scene of the show, in which Donny replays one of Martha’s many voicemails, specifically the one in which she explainswhy she calls him “baby reindeer”. Sitting at a pub, Donny breaks down in tears and is consoled by a bartender who offers him his drink on the house after Donny forgets his wallet. This goes to show that there is some level of identification between Donny and Martha. Meanwhile,when it comes to Donny and Darrien, the power dynamic is completely different. Donny and Darrien are not equals. Darrien still has a measure of power over Donny.
‘Baby Reindeer’ Points to a Larger Issue
Baby Reindeeris not really a show about stalking, but a show about the trauma and aftermath of sexual abuse. When we look at how brutally honest and emotionally raw it is, it becomes comparable toMichaela Coel’s critically acclaimedI May Destroy You. However, whileI May Destroy Youfocuses on how the trauma of being sexually assaulted in many different ways may manifest itself in the inner life of a person,Baby Reindeershows us how such a trauma can alter our behavior. Furthermore, the series also points to systemic abuse inside certain areas and institutions, whether that is through a throwaway line from Donny’s dad about being abused in the Church when he was a kid or through its depiction of sexual misconduct as a common occurrence in the entertainment world, something that we had already learned about from the whole #MeToo initiative.
Considering how prevalent sexual assault is around the globe —the CDC tells us that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 26 men have been victimized by rape in the US alone— one has to look at Donny’s story and think of it not as the tale of a man pestered by a psychotic woman, but as something that pertains to all of us.It is a story about how this specific kind of violence can break us even after it is over.Baby Reindeeris a show about trauma, but the primary place that trauma comes from is Donny’s assault. Surviving rape and being violated by someone you’re meant to trust can drastically alter the course of your life andBaby Reindeeris a grim reminder of that.
